crazy thoughts of a geek in the pink… (0_o)

February 9, 2010

My First Trip to the Last Frontier: Puerto Princesa, Palawan

Filed under: travel — cristta @ 1:45 am

       It was not summer. But, I was raring to go out of the metro and kick up my heels to feel the sand grains beneath my feet. I have been working hard since graduation. So, when my boyfriend and his mother invited me to visit their hometown, I grabbed the chance to reward myself and unwind for a while.  With a vision of bright sun, fair clouds, azure water, and white sand in mind, I immediately filed a leave of absence from my office and took a flight to my dream paradise.

 

       It was one Saturday afternoon, 11th of July 2009. We took a 30-minute taxi ride from Makati to the Centennial Airport in Pasay. As soon as we arrived, we presented our e-ticket and ID, paid the Php200 terminal fee, and checked-in our luggage. Because we were two hours early for our flight, we waited in the lobby and surfed the Internet using the free Wi-fi connection until we were called to board the plane.

       When we finally boarded and got settled inside the plane, I was anxious yet excited because it was my first time. To calm my nerves, I put on the headset and listened to the installed music player in the passenger seat. Not for long, the all-smiling flight attendants informed us to fasten our seat belt, sit back, and relax as the plane took off. They were also very accommodating and generous with snacks and drinks. As the plane soared higher and higher, I watched how the large houses and tall buildings slowly become a tiny speck. I was very amused, looking at the clouds of different shapes and sizes. I soon forgot all about the hustle and bustle of my urban life. Flying via Philippine Airlines was really a great escape.

       After 50 minutes of being airborne, the plane finally landed. Still with disbelief and bewilderment, I peeked outside. The clear blue sky confirmed it. At long last, I reached my destination. I finally arrived at Puerto Princesa City, Palawan.

A Walk around the City

            The city was named after a Spanish princess who, according to legend, wandered around the place. It was initially called Puerto de la Princesa but after the princess’ death, the town’s name was changed and eventually reduced to Puerto Princesa. Akin to its name, its bay area used to be the center of Spanish naval operations, which accommodated any size of shipping vessels.

            Today, being the capital of the island province of Palawan, Puerto Princesa is the center of trade, commerce, and tourism. However, unlike cities in Metro Manila, Puerto Princesa is clean, quiet, and spacious. It is hailed as the cleanest and greenest city in the Philippines and probably the safest tourist destination, because of its zero crime rate.  It is also hassle-free, because there is no traffic and you can travel from the airport to the other parts of the city with one short tricycle ride. In going to the secondary portions of the city and small towns, you can also take jeepneys and multi-cabs for a cheap ride. The city offers many natural tourist spots and a few commercial establishments. The place is urban, yet rural.

       Because I could not wait to explore its grandeur, I tugged my boyfriend to have a tour around the city as soon as I settled my things. Their house was in the city center or the Poblacion, so I opted for a walk. You can also do this even if you are staying in hotels and inns – The Legend Palawan Hotel, Hibiscus Garden Hotel, Puerto Pension, and Ardent Suites to name a few. Because we were in H. Mendoza Street, it only took a few steps to get to the main road called J. Rizal Avenue, where the Mendoza Park is located. We strolled along the park, which according to the locals, was named after a World War II hero who fought the Japanese. This park is one of the amusement parks in the city that is ideal for relaxation and spending time with family and friends.

      We walked along J. Rizal Avenue and found many stores, cafés, and restaurants. Opposite Mendoza Park is Ramtan, which is a small store that sells food supplies. Nearby is Bruno’s, which vends delicacies and fine foods such as cured meats, cheese, sausages, fried chicken, spare ribs, salads, and others. Close to it is Itoy’s Specialty Coffee Haus, the counterpart of Starbucks in Puerto. Other stores include Fresh Café, Kalui Restaurant, Kinabuchs Grill and Bar, Divine Sweets, and of course the fast food chains such as Jollibee, Shakey’s, and Chowking.

      We walked further and reached the far end of Rizal Avenue, where the Immaculate Conception Cathedral is located. Unlike other churches, its past is concealed in blue and white paint. But beyond its modern façade, the traditional Catholic worship practices are still held. Masses and other liturgical rites are still conducted before the sacred icons and saints. Palaweños devotees honor the church’s sanctity and this is extended to tourists. Thus, we said a prayer of thanks and guidance for our good travel before heading to our next destination.

       Since the church stands on a hill near the pier, it only took us a few minutes to reach Baybay or the Baywalk Area. Unlike its counterpart in Manila Bay, the place is clean and less crowded. The park, which is also the biking area, is wide and well-maintained. Although it is not yet fully finished, there are places for eating street food like ice cream, balut, peanuts, and other fried snacks, sold in small stalls. We sat near the icon and landmark of the bay, ‘Ang Princesa sa Baybay.’ This is a statue of a petite lady standing, with its arm extending to the sky and her long hair blown by the wind. We watched her as we enjoyed the tranquility of the park. With the locals, mostly teenagers, we listened to the waves that hit the rocks near the wall of the bay. The sea breeze was cold and the night sky was very relaxing.

 The Eco-Tour

       The next day, as soon as the morning sunshine peeped through the window, we got on the road and made our way to Sabang. After a one-hour ride away from the city, we arrived at the proposed place for an “alternative” form of tourism, offered by Pasyar Developmental Tourism. As warm welcome, the locals presented a song and dance number, delivered in Cuyunon, the local dialect. Then, we were guided to a floating restaurant tugged by a boat and experienced the Mangrove Paddle Tour in Sabang River. 

It was a surreal yet enjoyable ride along the serene waters of the mangrove swamp. The boat paddled its way amidst the old mangrove trees as we sipped our buko juice whilst serenaded by the sound of the ukulele. As our boat traversed the swamp forest, we saw several old dark trees, with their roots and branches crisscrossing each other, arched over the river. Some members of the community who protect the area served as guides and explained to us bits and pieces about the mangroves. We learned that mangrove trees have gender, too. There are male and female mangrove trees, which can be identified through their leaves. Male mangrove trees have pointed leaves, while the females have rounded ones. I looked around and spotted these differences. Other information about environmental protection, specifically mangrove conservation and marine sanctuary, that we learned from this tour were amazing and interesting, too. The intellectual discussion was brought to a halt when we arrived at the mangrove trail. We were welcomed by a yellow-striped black snake with a finger’s width, curled and was sleeping on a branch of a tree near our boat. The guide assured us that it does not attack unless provoked. So not to awaken the snake, we leapt from the platform to the bamboo bridge stealthily. Then, we walked along the wooden trail that leads to an old mangrove forest. It would have been a 10-minute walk if not for the entwined branches and roots that obstructed some parts of the path. We went over and through the branches like ninjas avoiding the laser beams. Eventually, we reached the end of the trail, which is a peek on another swamp forest. The other side of the river led us to our next destination – Honda Bay.

Honda Bay is a group of islands, popular for swimming, snorkeling, and diving. Hopping from one island to another is common in this area. Yet, for our visit, we stayed in just one island. After a rough and fast boat ride, we settled in a cottage and shared a hearty lunch. As soon as our hunger and thirst were satisfied and quenched, we bathed under the sun and walked barefoot along the powdery sand. Hand in hand, my boyfriend and I trailed the sun-baked sand and picked up sand dollars on our way to the end of the sandbar. Then, we sat down on the beach and watched the blue green sea. Afterwards, we tried snorkeling and caught a glimpse of the colorful fishes down under. Amazingly, even above water, this varied and colorful marine life is distinguishable, because the sea is crystal clear. After plunging into the water, we splurged into the sumptuous food again. We went home that day with an evident keepsake – our tan lines.

(to be continued)

October 21, 2009

poems

Filed under: 1 — cristta @ 8:50 am

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“nagtatae ang ballpen ko at binabasa mo ang basurahan…” – bob ong

************************************

Twilight Drama

 

The drizzle washed off the colors

And a faint light was left

Enough for a young man to see

His wet and muddy track

Where many cars and jeepneys raced

To bring home passengers

Who were tired battling with school work

And wanted to reach heaven

Where they could lay on their cushion,

Doze off after dinner.

 

The drizzle washed off the colors

And a faint light was left

‘Twas peeping behind the branches

Of an old acacia.

Under its misty canopy,

Lads flocked to grab a bite

Around manong’s hot gridiron

Where his famous street food,

Lit by a bright orange lamp light

For the poor juveniles.

 

The drizzle washed off the colors

And a faint light was left.

I could see my messy table

With piles of books on top.

I saw pictures of smiles and frowns,

Brought me to nostalgia

The smell of chicken adobo

Reminded me of her

And the clang of the utensils

In our humble abode.

 - July 27, 2006

 **********************

Sunken

 

The bright sun rays

Passing through my window

Are enticing me

To get out

Of the shell

I have been hiding

They are winning

My feet are now moving

Taking me there

Slow and hesitant

To that renowned place

 

In Bowl of Grass

A family of three

Is sitting down

A young lady

Is lying down

Teenagers are playing soccer

Kicking the ball

Here and there, all over

Two cute children

Are running around

Dancing with the breeze

 

The cool morning air

Is kissing my cheeks

The acacia tree

Is looking down

And wondering why

I am here

Looking at the sky

Wishing…

Waiting…

-  January 20, 2006

 ********************

Four Ways of Looking at a Clock

I

My heart leaps

As the clock ticks

My eyes sway

As its hands twirl

Every second

Step by step

From one to twelve

II

Five fingers lie

In between mine

I want to hold

The clock’s three hands

Along with his

And grip them tight

To make them one

III

At six o’clock

Two arrows point

Two different paths

And lovers go

On separate ways

The boy heads north

The girl down south

IV

The clock’s hands

Are moving

Beneath the snow

Under the rain

Against the tide

Howl of the wind

All day and night

I’m still counting

Every second

Every minute

Every hour

Everyday

- July 27, 2007

*********************

Time of love has lapsed

 

I am deafened by the whispers of love.

His lips have kissed away my frowns and smiles.

 The nightingales have not reached the notes above.

The poems I write have no rhythm and rhymes.

My red roses have not bloomed and have waned.

The fire has melt away my devotion,

And the ashes were blown by the strong wind.

Time has lapsed and my clock has stopped ticking.

 The church bells have stopped ringing in my head.

I’m still solitary while vanishing.

Nostalgia has lied me down in this bed.

I can’t breathe; it has strangled me to death.

- Aug 28, 2007

*********************

Tug-of-war

 

You moved away from me

And I needed to agree

You told me it was for my own good

I told you it was for us both

But I fell to the ground

Without you around

I wished you’d pick me up

But you didn’t even prop

So I forced myself to stand

On my own, so bland

I managed for sometime

But I did a stupid crime

I pulled you towards me

And held on foolishly

You pulled me back

Like we were still intact

But damn, I was so blind

You were just being kind

So I tried to let go

Like you always do

I walked away

And did not want to stay

 

Until I saw you

After months of being blue

 

Now, here we go again

I don’t know if I can

Still play this game

‘Cause it’s still the same

You push

I pull…

- Feb 4, 2008

*****************

Sound trip

 

When I cover my ears

I hear them:

 

The twang of the guitar

Cries pain

Its strings are my veins

Each plucking aches

 

The pounding of the drums

Smashes hope

The tremor whips

My heart shatters

 

The growl of the vocals

Screams anger

The words stab

I bleed

 

When I cover my ears

I hear them

The piercing sounds

Hush the voice that says:

“I love you”

 

- March 26, 2008

 *******************

 Luna

 

You’re a pearl amidst the ocean of clouds

That I try to possess with every plunge

But I am blinded by your silver glow

And your round face illuminates my soul.

As I bathe under your light, madness flows

Every tide of passion keeps me afloat

You shower me with mem’ries of the past

That I thought have long been sunk and awashed.

In the vastness of the sky, I am drowned

With reminiscence drifting in my mind

But you, my love, breathe new life to me so

Please don’t wane in the abyss of the dark.

- May 23, 2008

********************

TENSION OF OPPOSITES

I want to see you
     But I don’t want to look into your eyes

I want to listen to you
     But I don’t want to hear your voice

I want to talk to you
     But I don’t want to say anything

I want to remember you
     But I don’t want to think about you

I want to hold you tight
     But I don’t want to touch you

I want to be close to you
     But I don’t want to be near you

I want you
    But I don’t need you 

I love you
   BUT…
 
 

 

- July 26, 2008

********

super!

Filed under: 1 — cristta @ 8:07 am
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Superman complex is an unhealthy sense of responsibility, or the belief that everyone else lacks the capacity to successfully perform any task. People suffering from this may feel a constant need to “save” others. They do not feel the need to ask for advice, have a know-it-all mentality, and are control freaks. They consider everybody else as incompetent and therefore, unable to perform tasks as effectively and efficiently as they can. These symptoms are in my personality and my diagnosis tells me that I have this psychological disorder.

In the past twenty one years, I have always felt that everybody depends on me – my family, friends, and loved ones. I have been trying hard to be a responsible daughter, reliable sister, loyal friend, and faithful lover. I thought that it is right to be in charge of everything, of myself, and of other people. I thought that it is okay to be like this until it dawned on me that it was not. As I introspect, I realize that something is wrong with me.

Based on my childhood memory, I used to study my lessons on my own. When I was in my early grades, I took Chinese lessons, because I attended a Chinese school. Since my family is not Chinese and no one in the house spoke Chinese, I learned Chinese by myself. My mother used to help me in my other subjects, but I remember that she stopped teaching me when I was in Grade 3. I thought that she let me be, because she was busy with work. I held on to this belief until I asked her recently why she stopped teaching me when I was in grade school. She said: “sabi mo kasi mali tinuturo ko eh.” The little braggart that I was told that to my poor mother. I do not remember telling that to her, but my mother does. And I know that her bighead daughter’s words had hurt her.

Maybe one of the reasons why my brother used to hate me when we were little is because I also bruised his ego. When we were kids, I used to fetch him in his school. One time, I found out that he was being bullied by a bunch of boys who called him “bakla.” Being his ‘ate,’ I thought that it is my duty to defend my brother from his enemies. I fought them, literally. I punched and kicked them until they stopped teasing my brother. I thought I helped him, but now I am thinking if I really did or I just made him feel that he was weak.

This disillusioned sense of duty transformed into “leadership” as I dealt with my own school matters. I often took the lead in group works and projects. And doing all the tasks even though it was supposed to be teamwork was not surprising for me. One time, I took control of a Science project and gave instructions to the members of the group. One member got annoyed and told me: “Bakit leader ka ba?” I was hurt by what he said and got mad. I shouted and told him that I was telling them what to do, because no one was doing something to get things done. I cried in front of everybody, walked out, and decided to finish the project without their help.

Even with my friends, I have the same attitude. I often do things for them, to the point that they become dependent. My boyfriend got angry with me because of I helped a friend with her thesis. Even though I argued that my friend contributed something, we (my friend included) could not deny the fact that I did most of the work. I thought that I was just being a reliable friend, but he told me that: “Helping is different from spoon feeding.” I was dumbstruck by what he said.

I realize even more that I have a suck up personality when my boyfriend got depressed. He spurted out angrily that he is sick and tired of people telling him what to do, including me. One of the causes of his outburst is when I told him that he should work in Manila after college. I thought I was being a supportive girlfriend, but obviously I was not. He took it negatively and felt that I was bossing him around. As a sign of surrender he told me: “Ok. Just tell me what to do.” Of course, I do not want him as my puppet so I just cried, realizing how (control) freak I am.

I decided to change myself when I read Bo Sanchez’ blog, ‘Stop trying to fix people.’ I have been trying hard to fix people, thinking that they cannot do it without me. I do not recognize that I am meddling with their affairs and disregarding their capability of improving themselves, even without my help. According to Bo, “You can never fix anyone. Because fixing is an inside job. Never forced from the outside.” What I should really do is just inspire, guide, teach, and create space for others to fix themselves. So…

Up, up, and away,  Superman!

March 13, 2009

rejection

Filed under: 1 — cristta @ 1:42 pm
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“He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak. Even youths grow tired and weary, and young me stumble and fall; but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint.” – Isaiah 40:29-31

I went to church and attended mass this afternoon to regain the strength of my spirit. I have been feeling down lately. I have been bombarded with school work, which demands so much of my time. Too much, even, to the extent that I don’t have time for myself anymore. Acads, acads, acads, acads. It has been killing me and I feel like dying. So, I asked Him to carry the load with me. Good thing, I did. I feel less burdened right now. Thank you, Lord.

~*~*~*

“Jesus said to them, “Have you never read in the scriptures: `The very stone which the builders rejected has become the head of the corner; this was the Lord’s doing, and it is marvelous in our eyes’?” – Matthew 21:42

Father Arre discussed about rejection as reflection to the Gospel today. As intro to his homily, he shared that he asked his high school crush to the prom but got a big ‘no.’ (I like hearing the love stories of priests. Haha!) Then, he related this to the readings. Father said that Joseph was rejected by his brothers. Because their father Israel loved Joseph more than any other of his children, Joseph’s brothers became so envious and conspired to kill him and throw him into one of the pits. But Reuben, who wanted to save Joseph, disagreed and suggested to just throw Joseph into a well. Then some traders passed by. Judah suggested to sell Joseph to the Ishmaelites. So, they did and Joseph was taken to Egypt. Like the first reading, the Gospel, too, talks about rejection. The gospel is about the parable of the wicked tenants. The owner of the vineyard had sent servants to get fruit from the tenants. But the tenants had beaten some and killed others. Then, the owner sent his son, hoping that tenants would not harm him. But unfortunately, the son, too, was killed. The meaning is that God owns the vineyard of Israel. It is supposed to bear the fruit of worship and obedience. He has sent prophets and wise men to gather this fruit. And finally he sent his Son. But the leaders of Israel rebel. They will give no fruit. And they kill the Son of God. Father Arre said that often times, we tend to reject God. In spite of what He did to us, we, sometimes, forget Him. In making decisions between the good thing and the bad thing, we tend to reject the good.

I felt that I have rejected God lately. I used to read the Scriptures upon waking up in the morning. I used to go to the Blessed Sacrament before going to class. I used to serve and read during afternoons and Sundays. But lately, my church attendance has been less frequent. I know it’s my fault for not giving Him time.

I  did not give much time to my other responsibilities as well. I haven’t gone to our org tambayan since the Kali Girls’ Day. I missed the meetings, the prep for the medical mission, and the movie re-run. The medical mission will be tomorrow but I’m still stuck with my thesis and other school work. I know I owe them big time for not helping and for neglecting my duties as a member of the org. I know I’m becoming selfish and self-centered. And graduation, as my effin’ reason, won’t suffice.

I really feel sorry. I know  it hurts to be rejected and I understand if they hate me. But I hope I could still make it up to all of them – to all of the things I used to do and to all of the people I used to be with.

~*~*~*

Funny. I found one poem I wrote with the same title as this post. It is still about rejection but the mushy kind. I really do not want to elaborate so just read. Hehe.. ;p


Rejection

My eyes refuse to close and be defeated by sleep

My ears refuse to listen to the voices of lovelorn souls

My lips refuse to say nothing but your name

My mind refuses to forget our memories

My heart refuses to stop beating only for you…

aci:10.28.08

March 9, 2009

my non-biological but real sister

Filed under: 1 — cristta @ 4:55 am
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I was not expecting it. But she came, wrapped in a sling and was carried by a “stork.”

It was one fateful day in the month of June 2003. I came home and saw a man sitting on the front porch of our house. He was a boarder in my grandmother’s apartment. He was looking for my mother and I wondered why. It was already past five so I told him that she would come in a little while. As soon as my mother got in, the two of them talked in private. After an hour or so, the man left with bills in his hand but without the baby in tow. And I saw my mother cuddling a seven-month old.

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At first, it was hard for me to accept what happened. Our house used to be peaceful and quiet. But when the baby came, she filled our house with her loud shrieks, spilled milk, smelly diapers, and bulky toys. Although I have a younger brother, I did not experience those because he and I grew up basically at the same time since he is only a year younger. I was not used in taking care of a baby, especially someone who was not really my blood kin.

My family used to be plain and dull. Every morning, we would eat breakfast and leave the house for school and office. We would see each other again in the evening. Usually, my brother and I would eat dinner in front of the TV while my mother and father would eat in the dining room. After watching TV, my brother and I would lock ourselves up in our room and do our assignments. Then, we would go to sleep. We would wake up in the morning and the day would go on like that again.

But when the baby came, our lives changed. Family bonding became important. We started to eat meals together. We learned to gather in the living room and play. Our visits to our grandmother’s and cousin’s house after mass during Sundays became more often. We went to parks, malls, arcades, movie houses, and restaurants more frequently. We also had out-of-town trips. Our family became more like a family because of the baby.

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My mother and I named the baby Adrich Nycolle. We call her Ycol or Col. Whenever she is perky and naughty, we tease and call her Kulasa. From being big and fat baby, she is now a pretty six year-old kid.

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We are very fond of each other maybe because we are both girls. Although I do not see her often because I study in Manila and rarely go home, especially now that I am graduating soon, I make it a point that we have our bonding. We like to sing and dance.

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We like to read, too.

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I’ll always be thankful that the “stork” brought her to our family. Even though she is not my biological sister, I really love her like a real sister.

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February 22, 2009

valentine’s hangover

Filed under: love — cristta @ 5:27 pm

love

“The first time I loved forever was when you whispered my name. And I knew at once you loved me for the me of who I am. The first time I loved forever I cast all else aside. And I bid my heart to follow. Be there no more need to hide. And if wishes and dreams are merely for children and if love’s a tale for fools, I’ll live the dream with you. For all my life and forever, there’s a truth I will always know. When my world divides and shatters, your love is where I’ll go…” – Lisa Angelle

When I heard this song two years ago, I was in love. So high, that I pictured myself wearing a white gown while walking down the aisle to meet “him” at the altar. I used to reject that idea but thanks (or no thanks) to Saint Valentine and Father Jboy Gonzales, I gave in. I let myself be drowned in wishful thinking and make-believe one Valentine’s Day at the Parish of the Holy Sacrifice. Even though I was not really with “him” during the mass, I felt love – married couples renewed their wedding vows, lovers uttered sweet nothings, kids kissed their parents, and friends hugged each other. That moment was euphoric.

And I relive that memory whenever I play the song, even on ordinary days.

~*~*~

father jboy gonzales

One Sunday during my freshman year, I met Father Jboy. It was the first time I experienced a mass conducted by a young Jesuit priest. I found him quirky and amusing. His masses were unconventional. He made the masses less boring by inviting dancers, musicians, and singers to celebrate the Eucharist with the congregation. His homilies were profound and informative. He shared trivia about the Bible stories and related the readings to ordinary experiences. He is young yet knowledgeable about life and faith. Because of his youthful aura, unconventional masses, and profound homilies, students like me used to flock in church to hear mass at 11am.

But Father Jboy is no longer a UP chaplain. The Jesuits, including him, had to be transferred in Ateneo. Because of this, the Students’ Mass is not conducted anymore. And my spirit missed him badly.

So when I found out (through his FS account) that he would hold a Valentine’s Mass in Ateneo, I decided to go and see him. I went with my friend Fatima after my church service. I knew we would be late since my service would end at 6pm and his mass would also start at 6pm but I took the chance. Unfortunately, we were lost in that huge parking lot, walked in the dark, and arrived in the Church of Gesu at some point in the Communion rite. We missed the homily I have been eager to hear. Oh well. At least, we witnessed the renewal of vows of the couples and experienced the blessing of the seniors and the “struggling” students (this is new to me). Father Jboy even showered (both literal and figurative) us with holy water.

Even though I saw him only in a matter of 20 minutes, I felt that same bliss I felt when I first saw him. And because I want to experience that again, I am planning to see him one of these days in Ateneo.

~*~*~

“Thus says the Lord: Remember not the events of the past, the things of long ago consider not; see, I am doing something new!” – Isaiah 43:18

If you feel down and lost, get up and find a new path with God. If you have been wounded, let Him heal your soul.

my thoughts create my world

Filed under: love — cristta @ 2:35 pm

“All that we are is the result of what we have thought. The mind is everything. What we think, we become.” – Buddha

 

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